Flaren's New Year's Resolutions

Yesterday, Chris noticed the distinct lack of resolutions to create a robot army, and I realized that he may have been talking to my evil twin at some point without even realizing it.

We learned of the existence of Flaren, my evil twin, sometime in high school. She made appearances in Stick People Theater episodes, often maniacally driving some sort of oversized vehicle, and had a role in The Book before the Betrayal and Destruction of 1996. She also showed up in college a few times, allegedly instigating a number of tickle wars in which I was the eventual casualty.

It was thought that she had disappeared somewhere in the wilds of Mozambique (potentially after a marriage to Andre Bantu?) , until yesterday, when one Chris Reid unknowingly let it slip that she still exists.

After some research, I came across her own set of resolutions, which I will recount here. If you see me doing any of these things, watch out, it's not me! It's Flaren!

Flaren's New Years Resolutions for 2010:

1) Create a robot.
2) Create a robot army.
3) Under no circumstances name the robot army anything that rhymes with "nylon."
4) Keep robots from gaining sentience.
5) Find and train sharks.
6) Create waterproof lasers.
7) Figure out a contraption that will keep the lasers attached to the sharks' heads.
8) Attach lasers to sharks' heads.
9) Upgrade security in hidden lair.
10) Create the rest of the plan for world domination.


So, here's what we know about Flaren's plans: They (obviously) end in world domination, but it looks like we can expect that in 2011 or 2012. We also know that she hasn't created any robots yet, nor has she even found the sharks that I've kept hidden in that underwater cav... uh... I mean... she hasn't even found any sharks yet. Also, apparently, if we can figure out where her current hidden lair is, we might be able to get in and upset her plan if she hasn't getting a better security system yet.

The other thing that I've noticed is that she has 2 more resolutions than I do. Which has some symmetry to it- doing 10 things in 2010. I'll have to come up with 2 more. You know. In addition to stopping Flaren's evil plans.